Biggus Dickus

One of the consequences of going away for the first half of December is you miss a lot. Christmas carols in the stores, decorations, over-shopping, crowds – all that is a bypass. Turns out that is all good. In New Zealand, every time I would catch a glimpse of a Christmas tree somewhere it would feel like an out of body experience, given that it was summer.

But another consequence is it has turned out to be pretty, darned difficult to find a Christmas tree around here past the middle of December. We’ve looked for two days. At the very last possible vendor, a garden centre in Parksville, Mike and I stood looking at the last remaining specimens in the tree lot – tall, scrawny, poor, leftover misfits. We were at last ready to admit defeat.

“We need to go to Plan B”, I said.  “What’s Plan B?” Mike asked.

“I have no idea”.

So we poked around and found a few large evergreen boughs, a big green reflective thingy, some pine cones, some overpriced sticks and 100 bucks later poured it all into the trunk of the car.

Here’s Plan B. O Christmas “Tree”:

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Speaking of Christmas trees, it would appear that my beloved home town of a gazillion years ago, Montreal, has got itself into a bit of a jam. Intended to herald the upcoming 375th anniversary year of the founding of the city, organizers planned to display the biggest Christmas tree in North America, determined to outdo even the famed New York Rockefeller Center Tree.  Well, pissing contests don’t often end well, and Montreal is now a laughing stock, with its tree being named as the Ugliest Tree in Canada (if not the universe). Take a look at trees Canada-wide.

Vancouver – Robson Square 50 ft.

View More: http://ashley-durance-photo.pass.us/vantree13

 

Toronto City Hall – 60 ft

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Ottawa – Landsdowne Park

Lansdowne Park Christmas tree in Ottawa Monday Dec 5, 2016. Tony Caldwell

Lansdowne Park Christmas tree in Ottawa Monday Dec 5, 2016. Tony Caldwell

 

Montreal – 88 ft.

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To add insult to injury, the tree has no star, and is decorated with red triangles with the Canadian Tire logo (its sponsor).

Oh, and that rival Rockefeller Center tree? It went even bigger this year and  topped Montreal at 94 ft.

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Return to a F*#k@&g Winter Wonderland

We recently returned from a few weeks reprieve in springtime New Zealand to this horrific sight. When we left on November 26th we were escaping from almost 2 months solid cloud and rain, with October breaking records for days and quantities of rainfall. Not usual. It was so bad that the west coast of Vancouver Island, no stranger to a lot of rain, saw the collapse of the highway outside Tofino and Ucuelet due to extremely over-saturated soil. In our absence, I am told, Qualicum Beach had endured nothing but cold and snow and rain and wind. Records broken for low temperatures.

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The water pipes to The Bunkie are frozen it seems, and there is no water in The Bunkie, a little problematic as our honoured guest staying there (#2 Son) just arrived.

And the GreenHouse was a scene of mayhem and destruction as 3 prized large jade plants, minding their own business in their winter season home, totally collapsed in the persistent sub-zero temperatures.

Now I’m not going to reveal how cold it is here, as my friends east of the Rockies would be rolling their eyes in disgust. “Piker!” they would say. “Stop your whining, do you know what’s happening here?” But no matter, I LOATHE snow, spent most of my life in it, and I did not move to coastal BC to spend my dotage in yet more snow. Normally, it may snow twice in a season, three times at most, which would be gone in just a few days. But there is no “normal” anymore.

The forecast is for some relief ahead. I hope there is something to it as I’m dreaming of a green Christmas. And who knows, sometimes dreams do come true.

Meanwhile I’ll be huddling inside, writing tales and developing photos from The Best Vacation Ever.

G.A.S. Attack

It appeared that I had become seriously afflicted by G.A.S., Gear Acquisition Syndrome, or Gear Lust for short. It also seems true that once the illness takes hold, it can be delayed but not cured. It was time for a new camera.

I traveled all through southeast Asia and beyond with my little Canon Powershot 520 IS point and shoot that fit so nicely into purse or pocket and had a ball with it. This was when I first started to write to my friends and family via my blog, illustrating my tales with images from this camera (or vice versa, illustrating the images with words).

Then I moved back to Canada and to a new camera, the Canon SX50 IS, and a slightly bigger purse. I have loved this camera and still do. It has served me very well. Still fixed lens, it has a very long zoom, good focus and shoots Raw for those who care, which now includes me. It has many features of a DSLR and is known as a “bridge camera”, meaning Canon has expectations that some will make the leap from it to a full interchangeable lens camera. That would be me.

I spent a very long time researching and learning about my options. The camera world is a nightmare of choices – DSLR v mirrorless, Canon v Nikon v Sony v you name it. This sensor size, that processor, this focus system, that movie capability. Throw in reviews of everything and every Tom, Dick and Harry’s opinion loudly proclaimed on a gazillion websites and You Tube channels and the choices are overwhelming.

Finally, it all becomes too much and it feels like too much time wasted. I’m very protective of my time and this was becoming crazy. So…time to pull the trigger (or more to the point, click the shutter) and get out that credit card and place the order.

I had settled on a Canon DSLR and when the box arrived it sat on the counter for awhile as I eyed it warily. I was not excited. Finally I set it up, and for 3 days wandered around getting a feel for it, how it rested in my hand, how it felt to quickly pull it out of my bag, how it acted as my companion on a walk through the trails around the Little Qualicum Falls.

I HATED it.

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My camera history. Notice a trend? This shot was taken with my 4th camera, the iPhone, which I almost never use.

Thankfully I bought it through Amazon – no fuss, no muss, within 30 days you just box it and ship it back. They even pay the postage.

So back to the drawing board and the incessant online noise to figure out what’s next. But at least the choice was narrowed down now I knew what I didn’t want.

In the end I chose a mirrorless, a brand new release that I had to wait for, and now, after a few weeks of living with it, I know for sure that it’s NOT going back. In fact, you’d have to physically pry it out of my hands by force for me to part with it.

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Will all this make me a better photographer? Will my pictures be better? Will my blog get better? No not necessarily. Taking more pictures and writing more stories is the way through to those particular goals. But a Brand New Toy is the path to Brand New Fun. And no, I will not be posting a gear review to add to the tens of thousands already out there. Now I can turn off all that intertube noise and get on with taking pictures. Until the next outbreak of gear lust, which I trust will not be for many years to come.

Soon the two of us, my camera and I – well Howard too – are off to the Southern Hemisphere for a welcome dose of springtime. Now, to figure out how to use it…

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